So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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