So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
