forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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