Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The best revenge is premature balding
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
