At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
