It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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