I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
