we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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