Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
