Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I could fuck to npr.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
