I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
