Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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