the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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