You made me cry and you don't even care
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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