Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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