grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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