help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
