I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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