Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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