That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
