Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Randomize
