At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
