Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i dont even know how to be here
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
