she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There are leaves in my underwear?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
