ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
