remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
