Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize