...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
