People with herpes should wear stickers.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
