I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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