we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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