ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
