i think my tv is drunk
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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