If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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