Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
