He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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