Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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