Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
false alarm, still single
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
