A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
