I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
