I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
