Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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