There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize