u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
