Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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