So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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