Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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