I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
