Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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