I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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