it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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