i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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