If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize