ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
