As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
